Soulmate

<< < Comic #4887 (May 7, 2018) > >>

soulmate

Title text: Finally, I wrote a story with a happy ending.

Votey

Explanation

This explanation is either missing or incomplete.

Transcript

This transcript was generated by a bot: The text was scraped using AWS's Textract, which may have errors. Complete transcripts describe what happens in each panel — here are some good examples to get you started (1) (2).

[Describe panel here]

We created a machine to find sooumates.

No more chance encounters no more longing in the night the machine will find the one person with whom you would have your best-

Huh. It turns out all of us would be happier marrying any of the 0.000%% of people who are powerful attractive, wealthy brilliant. And kind

8

We sought out these universal soulmates

I'm sorry I have no time to love you. I must first eradicate disease from the children of the world

Could we just do it then?

I'm more of candlelight romance guy

Goddammit.

In our awe of them we made peace with our lesser destinies.

At least were better for having known of them

They inspire us to be our finest selves

Until we uncovered their secret

You have secret meetings?! Trying to kill us no doubt

We have to

We were eating vegan desserts and discussing the nature of logic

Kill you be-fore we kill ourselves!

V1

We set a trap for them

Mr president - as bait I propose we attack a small nation and turn its government to a shambles, creating a refugee crisis that we refuse to help with

Wow! You won't believe the coincidence that just happened!

The ideal people anticipated our plan and reacted accordingly

To whom it may concern: We have fled to Mars. Weleft you advanced housing. manomedicine, nd wandwiches Sorry you dutity get to annihilate us We Know you

The new martian race thrived.

Wow! The core became magnetic again the moment we were near

And the atmospheres thickening just so it can stay close to us

Earth became a hard place to be

My boyfriend left me

Hey there are always more fish in the sea. No really great fish now. But. More

Meanwhile the martians progressed rapidly

Now that im not fixing things humanity broke I can build that perpetual motion machine I've always wanted!

Oh/ and we can end war by like not doing war

The combination of their advanced knowledge and our advanced sorrow produced some uncomfortable math

The fundamental equations say earthlings would be less unhappy if they were non-existent.

So the kindest thing we could do would be

Probably

Lasers

All's well that ends well!

At least we will all be in heaven together!

Actually

We go to a different one

Votey Transcript

This transcript was generated by a bot: The text was scraped using AWS's Textract, which may have errors. Complete transcripts describe what happens in each panel — here are some good examples to get you started (1) (2).

[Describe panel here]

The one where God hangs out.

o

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