Practical-eschatology

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practical-eschatology

Title text: I wonder when the first cult run by a robot will start up.

Votey

Explanation

This explanation is either missing or incomplete.

Transcript

This transcript was generated by a bot: The text was scraped using AWS's Textract, which may have errors. Complete transcripts describe what happens in each panel — here are some good examples to get you started (1) (2).

[Describe panel here]

Over time it became harder and harder to find military recruits

Everyone expects killing to become automated within 20 years so it's not a good long-term plan for young people.

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Leaders were forced to consider people formerly deemed unfit.

What if we went to philosophy departments?

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We need practical people.

Hear me out. They can convince themselves anything is okay.

The unusual enrollees created entirely new types of complaint

How come I'm being sent to the front? I'm an atheist. When I die, I either get de-existed or I go to hell dave over here believes he gets bonus points in heaven if he dies defending us. Send him!

The armies of the world organized around "eschatological fairness.

Perkins! Did you say you believe that if you get killed in the line of duty you go to valhalla where you feel up norse maidens and drink mead from a goat's teats all day?

Sir, yes, sir!

Get your cave-diving gear and a stick of dynamite, son.

The people with the most naively hopeful views of the hereafter were rapidly eliminated

Tell my wife. We'll meet again one day... in the land of weed and threesomes beyond this vale of tears..

Meanwhile. The people with the darkest view of this universe were promoted

Franklin, you believe this life is hell number 1 and when you die you sink to lower depths of horrors more terrible than the last in an infinitely nested sequence of unspeakable misery?

Sir, yes, sir!

We'll put you

In management.

In order to keep up recruitment, military leaders founded their own religion

Follow us and you will go to the land of weed and threesomes beyond this vale of tears.

Woooh!

But once they had power. The temptation to believe their own theology became overwhelming

Maybe I could be jesus only a new kind of jesus who just tells people exactly what they want to hear all the time and in return gets sex and money and power over life and death

Fortunately, technology saved the day at the last minute

Franklin! Sorry. But the autonomous kill-bots came earlier than expected. You'll have to be christ incarnate on civilian time

Shucks!

snap! or

Caption: smbc-comics.com

Votey Transcript

This transcript was generated by a bot: The text was scraped using AWS's Textract, which may have errors. Complete transcripts describe what happens in each panel — here are some good examples to get you started (1) (2).

[Describe panel here]

As soon as people realize I'm jesus christ we're gonna come kick your ass!

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