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My favorite finance headlines are the tautological ones, along the lines of 'Stock market down as stock market fails to go up or stay same.'
Title text: My favorite finance headlines are the tautological ones, along the lines of 'Stock market down as stock market fails to go up or stay same.'

Votey[edit]

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Explanation[edit]

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Transcript[edit]

Gday human.png This transcript was generated by a bot: The text was scraped using AWS's Textract, which may have errors. Complete transcripts describe what happens in each panel here are some good examples to get you started (1) (2).
[Describe panel here]
I don't get it.It goes up for no reason, it goes down for no reason. The stock market doesn't make any goddamned sense.
That's the efficient market hypothesis.
If the stock market made any goddamned sense, you'd be able to exploit that sense
It follows that early stock markets should've made sense, then gradually made less since over time until we reached the balls-out, bananas-in-your-ears, christ-jesus-but-whypcevel of confusion that we see
And capitalize on it.
Today.
This is a 400 year project that culminates in an absolute zero of sensicality. It is beautiful and you should appreciate it.
But what about these finance headlines that give reasons for things.
The purest variety of performance art.
smbc-comics.com

Votey Transcript[edit]

Gday human.png This transcript was generated by a bot: The text was scraped using AWS's Textract, which may have errors. Complete transcripts describe what happens in each panel here are some good examples to get you started (1) (2).
[Describe panel here]
Finance is just looking for anything that makes sense, then destroying it first.

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