2013-02-28

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2013-02-28

Title text: 2013-02-28

Votey

Explanation

A centrifuge is a device that spins its contents at a high speed, subjecting them to a high centrifugal force and stratifying its components by density. All living organisms contain trace amounts of aluminum,¹ meaning in theory, a powerful enough centrifuge could extract aluminum from an animal's corpse.

Koalas and some dolphin species are currently endangered thanks to human activity. To spite and enact vengeance on those who want to protect the environment, this scientist is extracting aluminum from these species specifically and using it to produce aluminum cans for vegan food products. Anyone who purchases these will actually be contributing to suffering for endangered species, but think that they're doing the right thing.

In the votey, Kelly stops her husband Zach from drawing a gory koala centrifuge.

Transcript

[A confused man talks to a determined scientist at a control panel.]

Man: I don't get it. Why are you centrifuging koalas and dolphins until the aluminum comes out? It's the least efficient way to get it.

[The scientist presses buttons on a green keypad.]

Scientist: When I was a girl, conservationists killed my family. Now I'm getting my revenge. And, technically I'm doing nothing illegal.

[A happy man with a ponytail looks at a can in the Vegan aisle of a grocery store.]

Banner: Elsewhere

Ponytail (thinking): Feels good to be a part of the solution.

[Close-up of the can in his hand.]

Label: Lentil Soup

Label: No animals were harmed in making the food in this can.

Votey Transcript

[Kelly chides her frustrated husband drawing at his desk.]

Kelly: No drawing the koala centrifuge.

Zach: You're no fun.

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