Editing Thin-ice (section)

==Transcript==
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:Scientists made a startling discovery.
:The polar ice caps are melting according to a recent expedition, a hideous kraken from ancient past is frozen within we must reduce fossil usage or it will return to enslave and consume all humanity.
:Evidence was mustered.
:You can see on this graph that the ice between us and bjokugak, dread lord of the frozelands has gotten thinner every year since 1966
:But there were doubters
:Look. If scientists can't agree whether it's definitely happening soon or definitely happening really soon how can we trust them about anything?
:Politics made things worse
:Look, global krakening might harm some but those of us who long ago swore fealty to his illustrious tentacles could benefit! How come the government never mentions that?
:Conditions de teriorated.
:And this summer experts predict more tentacle-strikes due to the increased number of tentacles that have started striking
:Happily it began to be a problem for business.
:The kraken is eating into our profits
:Technically he's only eating personnel but the longterm effect is similar.
:By the time the world united against danger the only option left was geoengineering
:I believe we can avoid a biblical-style cataclysm by blotting out the sun and pouring iron upon the waters until they become as blood
:But it was too late
:Celebrity orifices! A guide for summer
:Monster on the loose. horrible death imminent
:We prepared to die in shame
:All those years you said our children's children would resent us looks like that was wrong!
:The end is nigh.
:Fortunately it turned out we had banded together all along
:Scientists say that while swimming through the ocean, the monster ingested so much plastic that it asphyxiated and died.
:And now sports!
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