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==Transcript== {{computertranscript}} :[Describe panel here] :Dear the media, why do you only cover salacious opinions and passing fads? Why not things that matter? :Because you will demand more meaningful coverage right up until the moment we provide it, at which point you'll switch to a listicle about celebrity bowel movements. :The average consumer will watch :6 hours of the most idiotic, inflammatory, vacuous, gossip-oriented quasi-news they can find and then complain that respectable news sites they never reference have supposedly not covered something :The public yelling at news coverage is like a guy who hasn't bathed or combed his hair in 20 years yelling at the mirror for being too ugly. :In sum, fuck you. :Sincerely, the media. :Sorry, I lost focus for a sec there. Could you rewrite it as a headline? :You won't believe how retrospectively empty this man's life will be! :smbc-comics.com
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