Editing Practical-eschatology (section)

==Transcript==
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:Over time it became harder and harder to find military recruits
:Everyone expects killing to become automated within 20 years so it's not a good long-term plan for young people.
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:Leaders were forced to consider people formerly deemed unfit.
:What if we went to philosophy departments?
:\
:We need practical people.
:Hear me out. They can convince themselves anything is okay.
:The unusual enrollees created entirely new types of complaint
:How come I'm being sent to the front? I'm an atheist. When I die, I either get de-existed or I go to hell dave over here believes he gets bonus points in heaven if he dies defending us. Send him!
:The armies of the world organized around "eschatological fairness.
:Perkins! Did you say you believe that if you get killed in the line of duty you go to valhalla where you feel up norse maidens and drink mead from a goat's teats all day?
:Sir, yes, sir!
:Get your cave-diving gear and a stick of dynamite, son.
:The people with the most naively hopeful views of the hereafter were rapidly eliminated
:Tell my wife. We'll meet again one day... in the land of weed and threesomes beyond this vale of tears..
:Meanwhile. The people with the darkest view of this universe were promoted
:Franklin, you believe this life is hell number 1 and when you die you sink to lower depths of horrors more terrible than the last in an infinitely nested sequence of unspeakable misery?
:Sir, yes, sir!
:We'll put you
:In management.
:In order to keep up recruitment, military leaders founded their own religion
:Follow us and you will go to the land of weed and threesomes beyond this vale of tears.
:Woooh!
:But once they had power. The temptation to believe their own theology became overwhelming
:Maybe I could be jesus only a new kind of jesus who just tells people exactly what they want to hear all the time and in return gets sex and money and power over life and death
:Fortunately, technology saved the day at the last minute
:Franklin! Sorry. But the autonomous kill-bots came earlier than expected. You'll have to be christ incarnate on civilian time
:Shucks!
:snap! or
:Caption: smbc-comics.com