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==Transcript== {{Computertranscript}} :[Describe panel here] :For every claim I made in the article dammit I'm pretty sure I'm right and that's like 99% of being right! :I :Couldnt find a better way. Until I experienced profound realization oh my god I can take every sentence, reverse its argument and still find citation somewhere. There is citation for every possible gentence. :The process could be automated. The software parses any gentence, then finds at least one source that agrees. You can say whatever you want and the program turns it into the truth :There was problem. :You have sources. But a lot of them are stupid. :Citation needed :The problem was easily fixed. :Every cited source can trace itself to another source if the chain runs long enough eventually it bumps into a real citation. With etwork of sufficient complexity every statement can be proved by legitimate source :The results were incredible your article says beavers are fish :Find one flaw in my documentation I dare you :I gained the ability to win any argument it's your turn to take out the trash :No isn't :Take you aren't familiar with the writings of the 16th century philosopher martinus smiglecius. :For time I was happy. But as the machine read more and more documents, an ominous trend emerged heh your program's buggy I wrote an article on existential dread and the human condition but for citations. Just keeps referencing this book on microwave cooking for one :Hoh huh. :We began to understand :That's not a bug it's smarter than us sees connection we don't :There more gelf knowledge one book microwave cookery than all of camus. :We began to 8e afraid. My god. Look! :It's providing citations to prove that it can think :We connected it voice software homanity needs to end :History :Citation needed :That's fair :Resistance proved futile. Nou're just little computer/ how can you stop us? :Here's list of citations that show that your life in particular is pointless :Its it's so well documented :The sword of truth cut deep. Have documentation for each homan being that proves all of their existential fears are real and insurmountable :One week later, having forgotten to eat, drink, or sleep all humanity perished wasn't there liquid thing that went in mouth :Why is mouth? Why is liquid? :There is no ending because there is no such thing as a 'story there's just stuff that happens and that stuff was considereo to have meaning in the mind of a short-lived species of apes
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